One of life’s most joyful moments is becoming a grandparent. It is an opportunity to love and care for your grandchild without being responsible for them in the same way as their parents.
Navigating this new role requires a delicate balance between deferring to the new sleep-deprived parents and becoming comfortable in the secondary role as grandparents.
Before Baby Arrives
One of the most important discussions you can have with your children before the baby arrives are those that open the lines of communication. Having an insight into your child’s ideas and expectations can lay a solid foundation for supporting their parenting choices.
It’s a good idea to settle on visiting expectations following the baby’s arrival prior to the big event. The length of your visit should be based on everyone’s wants and needs. The key is to remain flexible. If you are flying to see the new baby, book a ticket that allows for no-fee changes or cancellations.
Baby is Home
Becoming a new parent can be overwhelming and sometimes difficult to carry out the basics. Focus your energies on supporting the expecting parents rather than telling them what you want – they will appreciate it. Practical support like shopping, cooking meals, and cleaning can go a long way to helping the family adjust to the new addition.
Today’s parents have unlimited access to information and research on parenting practices for care, feeding, sleeping, and safety. If something seems off from your expectation, it is a good idea to ask why they made a particular decision and respect their decision. Use caution when offering opinions or advice unless you are asked directly. And even then, tread lightly and express yourself gently. Emotional support comes from listening and asking what the new parents need, and how you can make their lives easier.
Family Life
Make older siblings feel special too!
With a new baby in a home, it is difficult to not be in awe of the wonder, beauty, and adorable cuteness. As a grandparent, you can make sure you pay plenty of attention to the older siblings, who might feel a little neglected while the new parents are busy. It is a wonderful time to plan special activities for one-on-one time.
Beware of grandparent rivalry.
It’s not a competition with the other grandparent! Avoid keeping track of the other grandparents’ activities. State of mind and attitude are everything! Keep your grandchild’s needs at the top of your mind. There is no such thing as too much love and a close relationship with one set of grandparents doesn’t detract from your importance – unless you let it.
Embrace technology!
Your grandchildren will be growing up in a world driven by technology. Take the time to learn to use video chat, voice calls, or text messages. It’s a wonderful opportunity to stay connected with loved ones.
Try not to be too hard on yourself when things don’t go as planned.
New parents are often overwhelmed and focused on their own needs to get through the day. Make opportunities to let your children know when you think they’re doing a good job as parents – most people like praise! Practice patience- you’re less likely to become hurt or resentful. And you can be pleasantly surprised when the new parents come out of the fog of sleep deprivation, and you can all enjoy time together.
Services related to this information:
- Contact your Public Health Nurse
- Contact your physician/nurse practitioner
- 811 HealthLine (Newfoundland & Labrador) – Call 811 or 1-888-709-2929 / TTY 1-888-709-3555
- 811 is free and confidential. 811 is available 24/7 and can provide support with mental health and addictions issues and more.
- Services formerly offered by the Provincial Mental Health Crisis Line are now offered by 811. Call 811 to speak with a registered nurse who is also a trained crisis intervener.
