Discipline

“Discipline” actually means “teaching.” Teaching is about setting goals for learning, planning a practical approach, and finding solutions that work. While parenting children, parents are often learning themselves. Finding the facts about what we know works with discipline is a great first step.

“Positive discipline” is non-violent and respectful of the child as a learner. It is an approach to teaching that helps children succeed, gives them information, and supports their growth.

Discipline is a way of teaching children how to:

• solve problems;
• think for themselves;
• get along with others;
• resolve conflict; and
• do the right thing (even when you are not there).

Discipline is not doing something to children; it is working with them appropriately to their developmental level. Understanding how children think and feel is important for positive discipline.  Discipline shows children:

• what they have done wrong;
• gives them ownership of the problem (appropriate to their age and development);
• gives them options for solving the problem;
• shows them respect; and
• leaves their dignity intact.

How do I positively discipline my child?

• Provide warmth and structure.
• Offer praise and affection regularly.
• Consider what your child is thinking and how they are feeling.
• Talk to your child, so they know what the rules and limits are.
• Plan transitions from one activity to the next.
• Offer limited and realistic choices that you can accept.
• Know what behaviours to ignore.
• Accept that they will make mistakes.
• Be a role model.

Let your child know what you expect. Remind them regularly about rules and limits. A good limit:

• is appropriate to your child’s age and stage of development;
• helps your child learn self-control;
• protects your child and others;
• is explained using simple language; and
• is used consistently, respectfully, and kindly.

Learning how to manage common challenging behaviours can help as you teach young children using positive discipline.

Services related to this information:

• Contact your Public Health Nurse or healthcare provider to discuss your child’s behaviour.
• Contact your local Family Resource Centre for parenting programs and support.
• Strongest Families Children and Youth Programs
  Free skill-based educational programs for children, youth, adults, and families seeking help to improve mental health and well-being.
• Visit your local library to check out some helpful books.